To become the head of state in Britain, you basically have to emerge from the vagina of someone called Windsor. That’s yer qualifications right there.
Ability, talent, intelligence, desire, diplomatic skills, wisdom, looks, popularity – who needs these qualities in a head of state ? Not us ! We’ve got DAS WINDSORS. As I’m fond of blurting out after a few bottles of Frosty Jacks – the thickest, laziest, sleaziest royal is automatically granted more influence & wealth than the hardest working, smartest, coolest working class kid could ever earn.
And by that I mean your kid too. This seems blatantly unfair. They know it.
So the royals like to pretend that they’re a diverse bunch. That there’s a rich and diverse gene pool of talent surrounding the crown. As oppose to a bunch of unimpressive dim toffs spawned from one unremarkable family in the wealthiest part of London.
Charles Mountbatten Windsor is known as: His Royal Highness Prince Charles Philip Arthur George, Prince of Wales, KG, KT, GCB, OM, AK, QSO, PC, ADC, Earl of Chester, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles and Prince and Great Steward of Scotland.
The media often cravenly mutter “In Scotland, where Prince Charles is known as the Duke of Rothesay…“. Er….to be honest, when I nip out for a pint in Glasgow he’s known as that useless tosspot in the barbour jacket.
Andrew Mountbatten Windsor – pretends his name is The Duke of York or In Scotland he’s called The Earl of Inverness. He’s not. Of course if you want to use the less formal term you can call him The One With The Paedophile Friend Who Meets With Trafficked Young Girls For Disgusting Exploitative Reasons. See here.
William ( “Wills” ) is Prince William Arthur Philip Louis Mountbatten Windsor is The Duke of Cambridge ( he doesn’t live in Cambridge). Harry has “WALES” on his uniform, but that’s not his name. The Duke of Edinburgh isn’t seen in Leith much.
Of course, even the Windsors are a confection to keep popular with the plebs. They were the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family until 1917, when they became the Windsors to hide their Germanic roots (this is pointed out not from xenophobia, but to highlight how certain Eternal Traditions are quickly ignored if it saves their skin ). I’d imagine the Mountbatten will be being discretely dropped….
They’re dull. They’re snobs. Despite a compliant media who do everything they can to create the illusion of a diverse and multiskilled dynamic royal family, reality bites.
They’re a bunch of dull old bores who sit on their arse most of the time. Prince Charles even has a cushion man to ensure his arse is comfortable.
And every time they complain about media intrustion into their private lives, remember that it is the monarchy is the one obsessed with bloodlines…
So who they sleep with…is fair game.
That’s the price one pays for insisting that the finest way to choose a head of state is to finda kinda regina vagina.
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